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Joke of the Day

"Waiter: how did you two meet Me: this is actually a blind date W: *much louder* SORRY I SAID HOW DID YOU TWO MEET"

"I never understood why people get buried in suits. When I die bury me in my PJ's. If I'm gonna be sleeping that long I wanna be comfortable."

"Yo mamas ass is so fat She dont wear DENIM she wears DAMN!"

"Did you ever wonder what happen to the ""Dude you're getting a dell"" guy Apparently he works at target now trying to get people to buy Adele's cd."

"We only speak to our two year old with a British accent. She's going to be the coolest kindergartner in Kansas."

"So I had a threesome last night... There were a couple of no-shows but I still had fun"

"A frog decided to trace his genealogy one day... He discovered he was a tad Polish."

"German Girlfriend My german girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10. Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."

"My kids are always accusing me of having a favorite child which is ridiculous because I don't really like any of them"

"What do cannibals like to drink in the morning? A cup of Joe."