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Joke of the Day

"[Wheel] _'D L_K_ TO SOL__ TH_ P_ZZL_ I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat Go ahead I'd like to solve the puzzle Yes, go ahead No, I'd like to.."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bride ! Bride who ? Bride and Prejudice !"

"How many birds can play tic-tac-toe? Toucan"

"My 10 year old: ""If nothing is faster than the speed of light, how did the darkness get there first."" Me: ""What?"""

"Your British accent is so attractive! If we had kids would they have British accents? We should do a scientific test & find out. For science"

"Pretty nervous about the guy who dropped out of mechanic school the second they showed us how to cut a brake line."

"Every Girl Wants to be Swept off Her Feet It's when you put her in the trunk that she starts to freak out"

"The only thing I want to ""portion control"" is my time spent at work."

"I paid $10 and got $20 worth of fishing supplies. It was a net gain."

"What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a birth certificate? A birth certificate states the sex."