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Joke of the Day

"I woke up because of birds chirping.nI wish I had wings too.nI would fly to each of these birds & choke them one by one. n6 am is too early."

"How was I supposed to know unleashing 342 cats in a club would turn to bone-chilling horror the instant the disco balls started up?"

"Just thought I'd let you know that I'm a chronic kleptomaniac... but don't worry, I'm taking something for it."

"Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people. We haven't met yet."

"How are a roof and quantum physics the same? They both go over your head."

"*slowly opens eyes after a thousand years of meditation* but where does one throw away a garbage can"

"I was just flipping through a pictorial of Betty White on one of those celebrity sites... And I realized it was Lindsey Lohan. True Story."

"Did you hear about the guy who couldn't afford vanity plates? He had to change his name to J3X CY4"

"I know you're not supposed to question doctors, but it's weird how my dentist keeps insisting on checking my prostate."

"There's a black man in my family tree... He's been hanging there for a while now."