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Joke of the Day

"I woke up because of birds chirping.nI wish I had wings too.nI would fly to each of these birds & choke them one by one. n6 am is too early."

"u cant teach an old fern new tricks. u cant teach any fern any tricks. basicaly a fern makes for a verey disobedient pet"

"I told this woman that I still had not forgotten how to make a spacerocket. You can not forget what you never learned."

"An ostrich commits grand heresy against the empire. He is promptly ostrichized. No? ok."

"What's more inbred than English monarchs? Wheat."

"They're making a Christmas edition of The Human Centipede It's called The Human Santapede"

"I always wondered why Pikachu's electric shock blasts off team rocket but not Ash. I guess Ash is just better grounded."

"Boy: Calls 911 Boy: calls 911 Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning."

"I banned birthday parties in the office because if you don't care enough about yourself to take the day off why should we care about you."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you."