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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between snow tires and black people? The snow tires still work when you take the chains off."

"Last time I used my phone was to call someone upstairs in my house b/c getting up is hard & I'm not trying to win the Olympics."

"I was doing so well getting over my viagra addiction... But I couldn't keep it up."

"My doctor asked if I drink to excess. I told him I'll drink to anything."

"Shia LaBeouf should never teach sex education He'd tell the kids to just do it."

"Why did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool."

"What's the hardest part of a vegatable to eat? The wheelchair."

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? 'cause he was too far out man!"

"What did King Arthur have for breakfast? Eggcalibur."

"Heard of that new product for removing gum that's stuck in your hair? Chemotherapy"