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Joke of the Day

"They should name American Pharoah's first offspring ""Regression to the Mean"" Because, you know, statistics."

"Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning? That's how he mustard the troops."

"What's the worst part of being a hooker? Every day is the week is a Moanday."

"I believe that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs."

"So I bought a nihilistic pencil It's pointless."

"""Where is the remote?"" ""All the way over there."" ""Guess I'm watching this."""

"I went to an art contest recently... It ended in a draw."

"Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back."

"Q: What's green and sings? A: Elvis Parsley."

"My penis is so big... the only relationships I can have are long distance"