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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronouce unionized"

"What do you call a dinosaur FBI agent? A pteredacted."

"It's the 21st century, people. Why in the world do we still have mornings?"

"What is the difference between God and Donald Trump? Donald Trump can make God great again. However, God has no such power!"

"If you think meeting your girlfriends parents is hard just remember? Someone is going to try to date Eminems daughter"

"People say I'm odd because... I CAN'T EVEN"

"What kind of movie do mathematicians most often watch? -rated movies"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house. (awkward silence) knock knock. (who's there?) The chicken. Feel free to try on your friends, its a good laugh."

"[At restaurant] I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! But I'm on a diet so... [To waiter] Do you have diet horse?"

"Why is James Bond's favourite bartender played by Michael J Fox? He doesn't need to tell him to shake the martini."