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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Johnny you know you can't sleep in my class. Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter I could."

"What did the fish scream when its tank cracked? ""Dam-it!"""

"I put some condoms down at the till and the cashier smiled. ""Getting lucky tonight?"" she asked. I said, ""If I'm really getting lucky, I won't be needing them."""

"They found more DNA from the NY escaped convicts... ...all over Joyce Mitchell's face!"

"Life Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked!"

"Why are fisherman so successful in business? Because they use ""net"" profits"

"A Wife's Headache A man walks into his bedroom, where is wife is reading. ""Honey, I brought you some aspirin for your headache."" ""I don't have a headache."" ""Gotcha!"""

"The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behaviour"

"I saw the add on page one. I dont have a reason to stand for cancer. But I do have a reason to sit for diabetes."

"Handmade things always seem to sell for extra. Apparently that doesn't apply to semen."