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Joke of the Day

"Handmade things always seem to sell for extra. Apparently that doesn't apply to semen."

"There's nothing worse than when you tell someone it's a long story and they reply with ""I have time."""

"How did the stoner die? Blunt force trauma."

"I only have 4 months left on that mirror I broke in 2005."

"Why was the blonde's belly button bruised? Her boyfriend was blond, too."

"TEIAM - problem solved fuckers"

"The lady in front of me wearing yoga pants keeps bending over to pick up quarters, hope she will for dimes too, as I'm out of quarters."

"When the doctor prescribed the millennium a medical dog he was surprised the patient asked ""how do i smoke it"""

"Little Billy come out to his Dad... - Dad, I think I'm gay. - That's strange, when you were young, you did not seem to like anal sex."

"Why did the Jedi kill his master? To get to the other side."