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Joke of the Day

"Why is Pokemon quite realistic? Because in the games, Bug-types are effective against Dark-types. Just like malaria in Africa."

"If advil is ibuprofen, and tylenol is acetaminophen, what is viagra? Micoxafalin."

"I'm not sure faith can move mountains... But we all know what it can do to skyscrapers. EDIT: Thanks for the love. More people have upvoted this post than have died in the attacks."

"My wife and I have lost over 150lbs combined!!! The only down side is we still have to pay his tuition."

"Give a man a six pack and he'll drink for a day. Give him a 24 pack and he'll drink for a day."

"Elon Musk was born in South Africa, and made an electric car. What if he had been born in Madagascar? He would have made a gas car"

"18: You & I are getting fat bec. u cook so damn good! IT'S.ALL.YOUR.FAULT! I was insulted, complimented, then scolded in under 2.5 seconds."

"Ate way too much..I'm gonna go to Africa and throw up everything I just ate for all the starving children..yes I do have a generous side."

"I've never been in love but I imagine its similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food."

"How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1, it's a goddamn electrician, what'd you expect?"