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Joke of the Day

"My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with 'Star Wars'. I said: May divorce be with you..."

"Home Depot law decrees that if two dads are pushing carts down the same isle, the dad with the greater mustache has the right of way."

"At Dairy Queen: Me: Medium Heath Blizzard please. DQ: You wanna spoon? Me: Sure, when do you get off?"

"I was going to write a book about my knowledge of tea.. But i decided against it since it would only be a Novel Tea."

"I bought a new boomerang... and went damn near crazy trying to throw the old one away!"

"""Son, I found a condom in your room."" ""Gee thanks, Grandpa."" ""Why are you calling me Grandpa?"" ""Because I couldn't find it yesterday."""

"Thirty days sober folks. Not consecutively, but here and there over the years. I'm estimating."

"You might think the cock and balls are similar. But there's a vas deferens between them."

"When I'm in a good mood I act like I'm I'm in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood. Neat huh!"

"Meatloaf said: ""I would do anything for love, but I won't do that""... ...he means lose weight. -&y"