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Joke of the Day

"Make sure to dress extra provocative if you ever find yourself in a 5th attempt to overturn a criminal conviction You'll definitely need that six appeal."

"I love the way the Earth rotates. It really makes my day."

"So proud of myself...6 whole months without smoking! Today I was able to ride the elevator all the way to the top without getting winded."

"Professor X walks into a bar >:)"

"Guess who's watching Vin Diesel movies all day again? That's right: Vin Diesel."

"Why was the tallest man in the world troubled? Because he had no one to look up to."

"Her: I like your hair. Did you get it cut? Me: I washed it Her: but it looks really different Me: yeah I used water this time"

"I didn't realise you spelled your name with a ""ph"", Steve. My apologies, Pheven."

"Germany opens a summer school for kids with ADD Its a concentration camp"

"Why do maxi-pads hate tampons so much? Because tampons are stuck up cunts"