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Joke of the Day

"Quadruplets: Four crying out loud."

"What do O'douls and going down on your sister have in common? (NSFW) It tastes the same but it's just not quite right."

"First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face. Second Witch: It's because he's a hoptimist."

"Walk in closets Walk-In Closet Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents? Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet."

"[therapy] ME: *in tears* So anyway, that's why I think she left me PERSON ON ELEVATOR: Please, I have a family"

"Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house."

"""IS A DOLPHIN WHAT?!"" - Hitler's wife answering the phone"

"I used to be schizophrenic... but now we're ok."

"Math joke My Calculus teacher told me:""Degrees are essentially useless in this class, we will use radians instead."" I replied:""Is that why you're teaching Calculus?"""

"Retweet if you're naughty! Star if you love Jesus! Reply if you'd like to meet him!"