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Joke of the Day

"I wish I could explain to my cat that when I sneeze it doesn't mean the world is ending."

"What started feminism? An unlocked kitchen door"

"Him: why doesn't anyone want me? Me: I want you. Him: why doesn't anyone else want me?"

"What species are the best rappers? Dragons, because they're always spittin' fire."

"Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you out?"

"What do we want? A CURE FOR PARANOIA When do we want it? WHO WANTS TO KNOW"

"""It's our third date and you still wear that shirt?"" Honey, this all they have in prison."

"USA has 9/11, France has 11/13, and Israel has? 24/7"

"My buddy's daughter just told me this joke. I am a grown woman damn it, but I cannot stop laughing. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? | | | | | An irrelephant."

"Monster now makes an energy drink which is part tea and part lemonade. The name of the drink is ""Rehab"", which begs the question... Is there something Arnold Palmer isn't telling us?"