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Joke of the Day
"I don't know where you got your face from but i hope you have the receipt."
Next Joke
"Q: What happens if you cross a goldfish's brain with a dog? A: I don't know, but it's great at chasing submarines"
"What do you call slapping hands with (5^.5+1)/2? A high phive! I'll see myself out now."
"Juliet: yo I'm dead Romeo: same Juliet: OR AM I..."
"What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match."
"Wife Wanted! A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"". Next day he received hundred of letters. They all said the same thing: [""You can have mine.""](/spoiler)"
"Why did my girlfriend cross the road? To get back to the first shop we went to 4 fucking hours ago!"
"A talking penguin walked into a bar and the bar tender said: ""Hey, we don't usually get a lot of talking penguins."" And the penguin responded: ""Well, no wonder - at these prices!"""
"I just read Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea It sure is a story with a lot of depth."
"Have you heard of the John Denver omelet? It's just like a regular Denver omelet, but it's served upside down in seawater."