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Joke of the Day

"Responsive web designers who date online... ...never specify height. Just width."

"Did you hear about the fire at the convent? Nun survived!"

"What kind of bees give milk? Boobies."

"How can a redneck tell his twin sisters apart? By taste."

"Short, but good nonetheless A midget philanthropist"

"""Hey. Here's some free oxygen. No prob! All I ask is that you don't let your dogs piss on m- Oh there he goes. He's pissing on me."" -trees"

"ME: *sighs* yep, story of my life EDITOR: please stop saying that every time you hand me a draft of your autobiography"

"Wanna measure the coefficient of static friction between us?"

"What do you do if you enter a room and a clown is having a stroke? Close the door and go to /r/Eyebleach."

"What's the first thing the cannibal did after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped."