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Joke of the Day

"Responsive web designers who date online... ...never specify height. Just width."

"Aching Joints by Arthur Itis"

"""I feel like I got off on the wrong foot."" - Star of a foot fetish flick criticizing his performance"

"Have you seen the clown that hides from ugly people? I thought not..."

"Everybody wants to be wanted, except maybe fugitives."

"What do you call a hooker in Alaska? Frostitute"

"HER: I hate you ME: Hate is such a strong word [cut to hate benching 300 lbs] HATE: *whispering* I will be the strongest word ever"

"Sorry for letting the air out of one of your tires, delivery guy, but based on the way you cut my pizza, I assumed you liked things uneven."

"I've heard addicts claim that heroin became their ""God"" but... ...they're always taking his name in vein."

"I watch zombie movies to prepare myself if one day it really happens. Same for porn."