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Joke of the Day

"I found if you put the right stickers on your cooler and walk as fast as you can they'll let you in any part of the hospital you want."

"how are high schoolers similar to women? they're always asking ""when will this period be over?"""

"If it weren't for Abraham Lincoln, America really would have gone South."

"Visitor: Wow you have a lot of flies buzzing round your horses and cows. Do you ever shoo them? Cowboy: No we just let them go barefoot."

"What do you get when you cross a raccoon, and a steam roller? Rascal Flatts."

"Why did the cannibal refuse to eat the police officer? It was a jewish cannibal."

"Guess what? Chicken butt"

"Being a mom means saying things that shouldn't be threatening in a very threatening manner. Like, ""EAT YOUR CEREAL!"" for example."

"Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?"

"I'm glad chocolate bars come with resealable packages, so I can eat half now, and the other half 1 minute from now."