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Joke of the Day
"Can't sleep. Boss is watching."
Next Joke
"COP: do you know why I pulled you over? ME: *hands him a puppy and drives off* [3 years later] COP *walking his dog*: wait a second..."
"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me:I'm cute? Cop: Nope Me: you like my car? Cop: Nope Me: I could do this all day."
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with large tits? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean"
"Hide all your naughty entertainment on VHS. Even if your kids find it, they will not know what to do with it."
"What did the hail storm say to the roof? -Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles"
"In Europe, her milkshake brings all the boys to the meter."
"Me: We don't have any more Girl Scout cookies and now I'm sad. Wife: I get sad, too. Like when I think about being married to a 40yo baby"
"What's the difference between a Mexican joke and a black joke? Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal"
"Think most people would be both disappointed and relieved if they realized just how little other people care what they do."