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Joke of the Day

"Why is it so easy to trust a hypochondriac? Because none of their plans are ill-conceived."

"*psst... ok ok be quiet... ssshhh...* uhhh... how do you sell a duck to a deaf guy? WANNA BUY A DUCK?!?! Uh... This joke isn't as good written down :-("

"""Grampa, how did you support gay marriage? Did you march like civil rights ppl?"" ""No. Marching's hard. I tweeted about it."""

"What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee? Tony."

"Bought a cheese grater for a blind friend... He said it was the most violent book he's ever read."

"Nice butts take my breath away... I'm assmatic."

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? 'Do you smell carrots?'"

"Autocorrect has been around for centuries, I got mine when I married my wife."

"I Like My Rum Like I Like My Woman... 12 Years Old And Mixed Up With Coke."

"A proctologist walks into a bar Hostess: Would you like to take a stool or grab a seat? Doctor: Hell no, just a beer, I do that all day."