129359

Joke of the Day

"There are two kinds of people in this world... 1. People who can count 2. People who can't 3. People who aren't good at telling jokes"

"I'm probably not the person to ask to talk to kids about the dangers of drugs seeing as my year on ecstasy was the BEST YEAR EVER."

"You know Collin Kapernik? Can't stand that guy........."

"I couldn't get an erection while having sex with my wife... So I took her to a nice dinner. There was no hard-feelings."

"What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door? ""Don't look. I'm dressing."""

"What's worse than getting AIDs? Having to find out that your dog has AIDs too."

"Guy on phone telling gf he's bringing her a HUGE bouquet b/c 'she deserves the best'. Hilariously, he was peeing at a urinal the whole time."

"Dear necessity, happy mothers day! -Invention."

"If you are a driver who swerves right before turning left, take a long hard look in the mirror, and then punch yourself in the face."

"A man in Arizona buys a [Tempescope Cube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ddMyIsxZ-g). He returned it a week later because all it did was blow sand and tumbleweeds around."