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Joke of the Day

"Today I opened the door to the supply room and four Chinese dudes jumped out and yelled ""supplies!"""

"*bumpes into my ex on the street *dials a number Hello, Satan? Dude I thought we had an agreement?!"

"Starbucks needs a separate line for people who say ""um"""

"What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef."

"New neighbor: Hi. It's nice to meet you. Me: It's nice to meet you too. This is my daughter, 9 Neighbor: What's your Twitter @ Me: DAMMIT"

"George Carlin appeared to me in a dream and asked me ""How can there be such a thing as a one-way street when you can obviously cross a street either way?"""

"I win all of my breakups by not getting fat."

"At a funeral Visitor: what's the wifi password here? Priest: Respect the Dead. Visitor: all small letters...?"

"[Obama giving Trump the White House tour] O: and here's the toaster, it tends to stick so don't be afraid to jam a fork in to get it workin"

"Why do black men wear baggy trousers? Because their knee grows."