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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I have the cutest nicknames for each other. She is my buttercup and i'm her useless sack of s hit."

"What did one dehydrated French guy say to the other? What do we do now, Pierre?"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By broom ... JK, rolling"

"A man stands over the coffin of his deceased wife. ""Her star sign was cancer you know"" he says. "" I guess it's ironic..."" ""That she was killed by a giant crab."""

"What is long, green, and has ""cum"" in it? A cucumber! Totally a cucumber..."

"What do you say to encourage someone who is masturbating? You do you!"

"I'm not racist.. Racism is a crime. Only black people commit crimes."

"You know when your a procrastinator when... You're"

"Why should you not tell jokes to sand paper? It's a rough crowd ...Ba da bum chssh"

"How do you make Manischewitz Wine? Kick him in the nuts."