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Joke of the Day

"Two grapes were walking down the street and one was assaulted. If that didn't make you laugh, it's because GRAPE JOKES ARE NEVER FUNNY!"

"I just read the biography of the guy who invented Super Mario Bros. Did you know that when he was a kid people used to laugh at him when he would kill turtles with a hammer?"

"Anal sex... ...it's fucking shit!"

"Maybe the Titanic sank because there were too many cats onboard, you don't know."

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor."

"Student: Could I be trouble for something I didn't do? Teacher: Of course not. Student: Good, because I didn't do my homework."

"What do Buddhist monks have for breakfast? 'Ommm' lettes!"

"What do you say to a family who has just experienced death of a family member due to anorexia? Sorry for the loss."

"LA has come up with a safe space, for people that voted for Trump And they're calling it Texas"

"I spend 90% of my time in Texas doing u-turns under highway overpasses trying to get somewhere I can see but can't drive to for some reason."