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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks, ""You want fries with that"" because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't ever want fries with anything. Ever."

"So I went to the bar one night... and.. Wait what happened at the bar last night anyway?"

"How do you make beef stew? Tell a cow they're being watched."

"Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing."

"Why does my van have windows? I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance."

"Two Apple Farmers, a baby, and an extremely agitated Sugar Glider walk into a bar... ... ... ... ... ... I don't remember how it ends but your mothers a whore."

"Why is the pussy slit verticaly and not horizontaly? So it doesn't clap when running."

"Why was the UKIP voter angry? Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)"

"Hmmm... Should I be a TA or a ""Lady of the night""? ""If you wanted people to fuck you for money you could just continue being a TA. I get told I'm fucking people's lives all the time."""

"Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool."