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Joke of the Day

"Grapes are so predictable at poker Eventually, they all end up raisin"

"I made a promise to a dying friend... ...that I'd stop making commitments."

"""Darling, can I go out in this dress?"" ""Yes dear, it's already dark out."" ""Darling, can I go out in this dress?"" ""Yes dear, it's already dark out."""

"Why are there whiteboards standing out in each class in school? Because they are remarkable!"

"I have decided to write erotic literature for premature ejaculators. ----- Chapter 1 ----- He looked at her. ----- The End. -----"

"where did Mary go after the explosion?! EVERYWHERE!"

"I probably couldn't even keep a picture of a plant alive."

"ALBUS: It's a Time-Turner! We can travel back in time and change ANYTHING. SNAPE: That's amazing. We can save- ALBUS: Nah, gave it to a kid."

"Someone needs to invent an alarm clock that, if you hit snooze more than three times, will call in sick for you."

"Would you like to hear a joke about violence and torture? What is WRONG with you!"