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Joke of the Day

"I'm in a very dark place right now. Suggestions on getting these motion sensing lights in the public bathroom to come back on...?"

"If these walls could talk I bet it would be gibberish cause these walls are plastered."

"Went to Costco for eggs. Walked out with a toaster oven, an 80 inch 4K TV, minus 1 child and no eggs."

"I am addicted. I bought the iPhone, iPad & iTouch & now iBroke, iHomeless & iRegret."

"What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist fuck."

"My life is a result of ""it seemed like a good idea at the time."""

"I hate Simpsons posts! Because I am a family guy."

"There are 2 things in this world that i hate. 1. racism 2. black people"

"It's actually pretty easy to win an argument with a woman when you wait until she's not around to have it."

"Having trouble keeping track of which celebrities are alive and which ones are dead? Here, use my Heath ledger."