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Joke of the Day

"Joke for chemistry nerds ;) Argon walks into a bar and the bartender says: -We don't serve noble gases here! Argon doesn't react."

"Given how, when I try to eat a banana, I end up holding the peel while the actual fruit falls to the floor, I'm ok never handling a firearm."

"There is no such thing as Internet stalking. Stalking requires physical activity. Fun activity like softly brushing your hair at night Sarah"

"I like my pizza like I like my pizza: pizza"

"bad ""it's so hot...."" one-liners Two that I came up with... It's so hot that Stryper sang ""To Today With the Devil"" It's so hot that Karen Carpenter ate an ice cream sandwich. your turn!"

"The best part of September is fucking with Green Day during their hibernation."

"A British man and a Chinese man were arguing One of them is Wright and the other is Wong."

"Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces? Because it doesn't even lift."

"My kitchen drawer was stuck but my husband got it open. I guess all it needed was a big jerk."

"THERAPIST: Well, if you know what's good for you... ME: [Holds up hand] ""Let me stop you right there"""