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Joke of the Day
"""Two parents that will never give you their love and approval!"" -sad Buzzfeed post"
Next Joke
"[1st day as judge] Murderer: [waves at me] Me [waves back]: He seems nice Lawyer: He killed six people Me: He probably didn't mean it"
"Did you hear about the triple-amputee who pitched in the majors? He was slow around the bases, but that boy had an arm on him!"
"Superman's first love got into writing really sappy love poetry. This is why he left her and kicked her out of his house. He said to her, ""Lana Lang Leav! """
"""I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."""
"What do you call a group that has gotten nothing done since the 90s The UN"
"A new movie based on the game Tetris is about to drop... ..so you better start lining up. (two for the price of one!)"
"What's 7-1? A national disappointment."
"What's the most difficult part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair"
"My mom learning how to use twitter is like the raptors figuring out how to open doors in Jurassic Park."