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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what a pirates favorite letter is? ( read before down vote you may be surprised) Well you think it be the rrrrrr's, but it be the cccc's.!"

"""We stopped making the style of jeans that fit you perfectly right after you bought your first pair."" -Every store ever"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter."

"*gives you dictionary for your birthday* wow.. i don't know what to say ""that's why i bought it for you"""

"""Let's get readyyyyy to punch a little but mostly hug!"" -honest boxing announcer"

"What do you call a proton with big hair? A 'froton."

"George W Bush looked exactly like a chimpanzee, and Michelle Obama has the face of a gorilla... The White House should be the name of the monkey exhibit at the Washington DC Zoo!"

"things I hate 1. lists 2. hypocrisy"

"My wife said, compared to a lot of girls out here, that I'm lucky to have her. I said ""Yeah? Maybe, but I'll do my own research thank you""."

"girl: tough guys are hot Me: *hawk lands on my bare arm* I have a gauntlet I just never use it *hawk gnawing on my shoulder* I love this"