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Joke of the Day

"*Ronda Rousey in the Doctors office* Ronda: I'm having trouble getting pregnant Doctor: Stop taking it in the jaw"

"A comma is just a period with a mullet."

"why did Microsoft skip 9? because 7 , 8 , 9 !"

"M: I can't access Twitter IT: We blocked twitter M: What am I supposed to do with this computer now? IT: Work? M: Who hurt you?"

"Who are the most decent people in the hospital? The ultrasound people.!! lol"

"People keep telling me PHP is a dirty language... Until I shove a string up there asses and turn it into a multidimensional array."

"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Cuatro cinco."

"What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons? Jose and Josb"

"What's the difference between Swine flu and Avian flu? It's what the doctor does to heal you. For one you need 'oinkment', and for the other you need 'tweatment'. **rimshot**"

"My leg goes to sleep as soon as the dog starts humping it. I'm afraid they're married."