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Joke of the Day

"TIL 9/10 redditors are bad at math. I'm glad to be the 1%."

"My cousin was one of the most ambitious people I ever knew. Unfortunately, he struggled with depression. His life motto? ""Gosh darn it, I'm going to kill myself, or die trying!"""

"What did the Jamaican say when he lost the smelliest feet contest? DEFEAT STINKS!"

"Your wife and your lawyer are both drowning. You've got a choice to make. Do you go to lunch or a movie ?"

"My Favorite Politician Quote (not sure if this belongs here but what the hell) ""Madam, I may be drunk but you're ugly, and in the morning I'll be sober."" - Winston Churchill"

"Chuck Norris farted once. He did it in the Sahara forest."

"What do the Titanic and The Toronto Maple Leafs have in common... The last picture of the Titanic was in Black&White, so was the last picture of the Maple Leafs with the Stanley Cup"

"How many Emos does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer to cry in the dark."

"What do gay Russian partners call each other? Cumrade"

"This tweet was going to be really funny but I didn't write it down because I was totally sure I'd remember it."