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Joke of the Day

"Two fish are sitting in a tank And one turns to the other, bewildered, and says ""Do you have any idea how to drive this thing?"""

"[The Beatles writing Here Comes The Sun] Paul: so what should come after here comes the sun? [Ringo screams from bathroom]: Doo Doo, Doo Doo"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Why would I donate 2 to save a kid's life? I'd rather spend that 2 on a condom to prevent a kid's life."

"What's the worst STD you can get from a black man? Pregnancy."

"How is an accordion like an artillery shell? Once you hear it, it's already too late."

"What happened to the man running in front of a car? He got tired. The man running behind the car -- he got exhausted."

"I got into an awkward situation by having an erection at the office. I was hard at work."

"Opposites If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?"

"After all of the screaming I've done, you'd think that this roach would give it up and WANT to die."