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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest about being a pedophile? Just trying to fit in..."

"So, a girl was giving me a handjob... and I told her to stop because she was rubbing me the wrong way."

"What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado? The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown"

"I don't understand why people always fight becoming a zombie or vampire. Both seem awesome because you don't have to have a job."

"9 called to ask how much bleach it takes to get purple ink out of carpet and because she's so cute and at her dad's I went with all of it!"

"By the time my father was my age he had amassed, like, 30 coffee cans full of screws. I have none. What have I done with my life?"

"This florist doesn't even know anything about floors, and he's acting like I'm the stupid one!"

"What do you call two British men, searching for a donkey? Assless chaps. Source: http://www.mrlovenstein.com/images/comics/345_daft_for_donkey.png"

"If I did the math right, 8 of you are serial killers and 1,246 of you are eating Nutella."

"How many letters are there in the Pirate Alphabet? Ten. Aye, aye, arr, and the seven seas."