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Joke of the Day

"The jungle book has been adapted into a live action play But after the show at the Cincinnati zoo all other showings have been cancelled."

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"[spelling bee] Your word is 'golfed' ""May I have it in a sentence please?"" Sure. He golfed with a tee. ""G-O-L-F-T"""
"What do you call a well respected slave? A butler."
"If Tetris has taught me anything it's that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear."
"What has 2 wings and a halo? Did you say angel? WRONG! Its a chinese phone. *Wing Wing* ""Halo?"""
"What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts"
"A Mexican Magician says he will disappear on the count of three... He starts counting ""uno... dos.."" and *poof* he disappeared without a tres."
"How hard is it to find cigarettes? Because my dad has been gone for 13 years looking for them."
"What's worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm.... Getting a bus from the plane to the terminal"
"Sensei: always expect the unexpected *pulls out picnic blanket* Me: *instantly pulls out picnic basket* Sensei: *hands me ninja diploma*"