127484

Joke of the Day

"Why do grandparents have so many clocks? So they won't run out of time"

"What is small, bald and wrinkled? Danny DeVito"

"I think my Maths teacher might have some relationship issues... She keeps asking us to find her 'x'."

"Friend: ""Did you bring condoms?"" Me: ""No need. If I'm drunk enough to talk to a girl, I'm way too drunk to get it up."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alvin ! Alvin who ! Alvin zis competition - just vait and see!"

"I too like my women the same way as I like my coffee... Constantly berating me making me wish I was dead."

"During movies when characters go underwater, I hold my breath and see if I could've survived that situation... I almost died in _Finding Nemo_"

"Very few people actually have celiacs. They're usually pretty stern."

"Why did the orange go to the doctor? Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here"

"Why does WalMart have so many handicapped parking spots? Because they want to have some available to customers too!"