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Joke of the Day

"Do you guys dance in the shower too? Today I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)"

"Chihuahuas are a lot like farts... ...only their owners can stand them."

"What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium."

"Just found a carrier bag with an England rugby shirt in the rubbish bin, can't believe someone would throw that away! Worth 5p that!"

"I could tell you that sodium hydroxide is a liquid out of solution. But then that would be a lye."

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day"

"What do you call a social studies class that got burnt down? History"

"""The princess dies. And then the people trying to save her die. Dragon guarding the castle? Dead"" - Bedtime at George R.R. Martin's house"

"I'm not the type that has sex with people I meet at the bar... They keep saying ""no."""

"Cinderella is my favorite story about choosing a spouse based on shoe size."