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Joke of the Day

"What do cows do after they get married? They go on their honeymoooooon!"

"People that don't tweet for months and then show up like nothing happened... Was it jail? I bet it was jail."

"Do you smoke... The Lady asked,"" Do you Smoke after Sex?"" I said,"" My gosh I never Looked!!!"""

"Sorry champ, but getting ""promoted"" from fries to drive-thru is not a promotion."

"What does a former terrorist playboy say to the officer interrogating him? ""Look, officer, I may be wearing a turban, and I may have a gun on me, but I ain't Bin Laiden years!"""

"Shopping for insect repellent spray is so sexy.... I always get Off."

"Do you have to be from Vietnam to open up a restaurant called ""Viet Noms?"" I'm asking for a friend"

"What was Trump's reaction to the petition for him to release his tax returns Not my precedent"

"""If all your friends jumped"" 'Yes' ""But if they"" 'Yes' ""But"" 'IF I EVER GET FRIENDS I'M GOING TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT ME TO, OK MOM?"

"Just once, I want someone to kick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter."