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Joke of the Day

"I could never cheat in a relationship... Because that would require two people to find me attractive."

"What came first? The chicken or the egg? Humans' ability to classify living organisms."

"My friend just told me he has a chocolate lab. Turns out it's a dog, not a place. Bummer."

"A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job."

"There's nothing scarier than a squirrel who's not afraid of you."

"Why do Mexicans make burritos? So they can unwrap something for Christmas!"

"Spelling Errors? I don't do that typo thing."

"Mirror mirror on the wall. Forget the fairest. Who would you fuck?"

"Lucky I didn't get caught... I was nailing this chick in the park the other weekend. And I was so lucky not to get caught. Supposedly crucifixions are illegal these days"

"A carny invited me back to her place for a good time last night... She wasn't kidding, there were bumper cars, a ghost train and a mechanical bull. I had a blast!"