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Joke of the Day

"Egyptians are quite good at recognizing conmen. They're not falling for that pyramid scheme business again."

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"I'm having problems with favstar. Can all of you trophy me to see if it's working right now? Thanks."
"Ask me if I'm a bear How am I supposed to BEAR comments like that one?"
"Dim light bulbs or bright light bulbs? Watts the difference!"
"I want to pump iron with all of Twitter. I want to spot my followers and scoff at my haters' form"
"Got an extension cord, and moved the microwave right into bed with me. This 2015 is looking like a good one already."
"I think I may be emotionally constipated...I haven't given a crap in days."
"COMPUTER: HINT: name of best friend ME: Jen C: Jen sounds nice M: Wh-what? C: Is Jen single? M: Uh... C: Answer the question. Is Jen single?"
"What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military? A Sweeping Generalization."
"how are high schoolers similar to women? they're always asking ""when will this period be over?"""