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Joke of the Day

"Egyptians are quite good at recognizing conmen. They're not falling for that pyramid scheme business again."

"perfect vision Whenever someone asks me what I plan on doing in five years I always get frustrated. Like c'mon guys I don't have 2020 vision."

"The best thing to do on New Years Eve is set the microwave timer with the countdown so the first thing that happens that year is Pizza Rolls"

"SON: Mom, Grandma is so annoying, I wish she will just die. MOTHER: Idiot, it's your mother that will die, not mine."

"Why should you never put the punchline in the title? Because it ruins the joke"

"What do you call five African-Americans born together? Triplets."

"Paul is coming over tonight Paul smith or Paul who puts ketchup on everything? [car pulls into driveway covered in ketchup]"

"If all the girls who went to my high school prom were laid end to end... It wouldn't surprise me at all."

"The ""we're going to need a bigger boat"" scene from Jaws but just me looking at the shopping carts at the liquor store."

"The Hispanic fruit cup locks eyes with the beautiful lady across the bar... He makes his move, walks over and says ""why, Jello there"""