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Joke of the Day

"Egyptians are quite good at recognizing conmen. They're not falling for that pyramid scheme business again."

"I'm having problems with favstar. Can all of you trophy me to see if it's working right now? Thanks."

"Ask me if I'm a bear How am I supposed to BEAR comments like that one?"

"Dim light bulbs or bright light bulbs? Watts the difference!"

"I want to pump iron with all of Twitter. I want to spot my followers and scoff at my haters' form"

"Got an extension cord, and moved the microwave right into bed with me. This 2015 is looking like a good one already."

"I think I may be emotionally constipated...I haven't given a crap in days."

"COMPUTER: HINT: name of best friend ME: Jen C: Jen sounds nice M: Wh-what? C: Is Jen single? M: Uh... C: Answer the question. Is Jen single?"

"What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military? A Sweeping Generalization."

"how are high schoolers similar to women? they're always asking ""when will this period be over?"""