126822
Joke of the Day
"what do you call an alligator in a vest? ... An investigator"
Next Joke
"""I don't have a racist bone in my body!"" --Riley Cooper's girlfriend postcoitus"
"My upstairs landlord asked if screams were coming from my apt or if she was dreaming. Either way, one of us has a terrifying neighbor."
"""Genetically modified food is very much safe for human consumption"" the tomato on my plate reassuringly explained to me."
"WOLVERINE'S DAD: Son do you know why I named you Wolverine WOLVERINE: No, father WOLVERINE'S DAD: It is because my name is Wolverine's Dad"
"I don't want to brag but unlike most men I need both hands for a wank . One for the magnifying glass and one for the tweezers."
"I'm not sure who's more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror."
"How many Socialists does it take to change a light bulb? None comrade, the bulb holds the seeds to its own revolution!"
"If I had a nickel for every time I was right and my parents were wrong. . . I would owe more than what America owes China."
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire."