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Joke of the Day

"A man walked into a bar... I ducked."

"The nice thing about being a girl is OH MY FUCKING GOD THERE'S A BAT IN THE HOUSE, HONEY, GET IT! GET IT!"

"How do you make a coffee sad? You mocha..."

"At first I thought maybe HBO had another vampire show. Then I realized that's just what Steve Buscemi really looks like."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Cookie ! Cookie who ? Cookie quit and now I have to make all the food !"

"What's the difference between yogurt and white people? If left out for 4,000 years, yogurt will develop culture."

"If your problem can't be solved by me saying ""that's messed up"" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn't come to me for help"

"[Food Network: Cake Wars] As the team barely delivers their massive cake to the judges table. Cat Judge pushes it off the table"

"As I rowed my little boatToward the river shore,A small black bird kept me from landing,Quoth the raven, ""never moor."""

"Think of a number. Realize that number will never think of you too. Lay on your bathroom floor and sob."