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Joke of the Day

"What did the mathematician use to kill himself? An hypotenuse."

"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? A Japanese business man wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face"

"yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 seconds."

"I loved John Hurt so much... that I'm not even going to make the joke that my heart John Hurts right now. Even though it would make me feel better."

"Doctor's wife was told she was terrible in bed. After coming home late, the Doctor accused her of cheating. She responded, ""I wasn't out cheating, I was out getting a second opinion."""

"What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled. ( )"

"What is the most popular vehicle in South America? They drive alpacars."

"You know when you lie, things can get out of hand very quickly....... For example I heard about a girl who lied to her husband about how she got pregnant and now there is an entire religion."

"{Father & son fishing} DAD: Son, I don't say this nearly enough... SON: *smiles* Yeah? DAD: ...I used to practice kissing on your Aunt Kim."