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Joke of the Day

"Dentist pulled the wife's tooth, she cried. Dentist told her not to put anything hard in her mouth, I cried."

"*walks into Kinko's* YO I NEED A CAT SCAN ""I'm sorry sir, we don't--"" *opens bag & removes a terrified cat* I ONLY NEED ONE COPY. IN COLOR."

"Being an adult is mainly drinking coffee and pretending to be productive."

"Three popes walk into a bar. Wow, that place is popeular!"

"What do you call a mexican midget? a paragraph, because he's too short to be an essay."

"If someone upsets you, write a nasty letter and file it away before you say something you might regret. Then punch the person in the face."

"I tried being polite by holding the door open for a lady She kept yelling, ""I'm peeing in here!"" What a bitch."

"Steve Buscemi always looks like he suffers from an intestinal parasite."

"What are your views on abortion? I'm undecided. On one hand, I like killing babies, on the other, I don't like giving women a choice."

"What's it called when you're killing time at work hiding in the bathroom? Stalling."