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Joke of the Day

"HI, I'M STEVE'S CAPS LOCK KEY, AND I'D LIKE TO MEET OTHER CAPS LOCKS KEYS. I'M INTERESTED IN BOATING AND HIKING."

"How do you stop your dog digging holes in your garden? By hiding the shovel in the shed/garage"

"During the Oscars ""In Memoriam"" my dad pointed out a lot of Jewish people had died, I told him it isn't surprising, they do tend to die all at once like that."

"Donald Trump's presidential campaign emerges victorious! title"

"How do you make a space party? -You PLANet"

"iPhones need a feature where an incoming call doesn't take up the whole screen so u can do other things while u ignore a phone call"

"Where's the most dangerous place to go trick-or-treating? On the psycho path!"

"[to wife on phone] yes spend all our life savings on honey W: but- PLS JUST DO IT *ends phonecall* BEAR [holding gun to my head]: u did good"

"[META] Please stop joking about Chris Brown beating Rihanna It's not funny when people keep beating a dead horse."

"""Ohana"" means family, and family means that no Monopoly game can ever finish well."