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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a pretzel that got his ass kicked? A salted pretzel"
Next Joke
"My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Christmas... My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Christmas. They got me a Rolex. They clearly misunderstood me when I said ""I wanna watch."""
"Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? He had lost his contacts!"
"""I take pride in my job. I transport the worlds most precious cargo"" -oh, u drive a school bus? ""LMAO Hell no! I'm a drug smuggler u nerd"""
"[cruising down highway in friend's car with windows down] me: [opens bag of glitter]"
"At the job interview... Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in three years? Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision"
"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ......All of it."
"Since we are doing lightbulb jokes, here's one... Q: How many abstract artists does it to screw in a lightbulb? A: A fish!"
"review of outside: too many other people, bugs will attack you randomly, pizza only available in certain areas 0/5 would not recommend"
"Hand Sanitizer: Helping us discover paper cuts we never knew we had"