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Joke of the Day
"Why is Budweiser just like having sex on a boat? Because both are fucking close to water..."
Next Joke
"sew myself into an anime body pillow, trick some unsuspecting outcast into loving a human. the ultimate prank"
"Someone stole my watch and stepped on it. I beat them up. I swore to myself that day that that would never happen again. Not on my watch."
"Wife: Put the dishes away I have other things to do. Me: ok *Me loading dishwasher with wife watching entire time to ensure I do it right*"
"Looking at you, I understand why some animals eat their young."
"ELI5: Why doesn't BMW install turn signals on their cars?"
"""People want to drink a panic attack."" -- inventor of 5 Hour Energy"
"Oh no, here come the Nintendo police! Wii U, Wii U, Wii U"
"Where did bob go during the explosion? ...everywhere......."
"Scientists have revealed today that they have found a new drug for depressed lesbians.. .. It's called Trydixagain."