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Joke of the Day

"Count Chocula is undead to me."

"Last night I had an orgy on a camping trip. It was fucking in tents!"

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care!"

"What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker? A rooster will say cock a doodle do! But a hooker will say any cock will do!"

"This joke isn't funny. What do you say when the punchline's told first?"

"How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men"

"I'm leaving you for an NSA officer ""I'm leaving you for an NSA officer,"" she said. ""But why? What does he have that I don't?"" ""He listens to me."""

"Was watching a comedic celebrity gameshow and the lineup consisted of Freddie Starr, Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, Phil Jupitus, Neil Armstrong and his son. It really was a solar panel."

"The Revenant: How do you call a scalped Leonardo DiCaprio? Leonardo DiCabrio"

"This DLC is getting out of hand... The DVLA want me to pay 60 to add three points to my driving license, because I beat my high score!"