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Joke of the Day

"I went to a fancy restaurant last night and a man was complaining about his escargot. The waiter just shrugged it off. ""I'm sorry sir,"" the waiter told him. ""All snails are final."""

"What do you call a man who excels at fishing? A master baiter"

"Magic School Bus Movie Don't get your hopes up"

"What did the seamen say to his friend? It was a long road, but I ended up coming out a head."

"[at funeral] My brother was so realistic and sensible. I guess you could say- *casket is lowered into the ground* -he was down to earth."

"The next man who calls me deluded is going to regret it when he finds me sitting in his house wearing a wedding dress."

"Marriage and happiness. Two friends meet on the street. ""Heard you got married, you must be so happy."" ""Yes, I must"""

"[notices a girl is cold] here take my pants"

"The difference between a comedian and a psycopath is good delivery"

"If God made anything better than pussy he kept it for himself."