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Joke of the Day

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Tool Time Barbie ...ncludes tool belt which she has no idea what to do with"

"A man has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness... Man: ""So Doc, how long have I got to live?"" Doctor: ""Seven..."" Man: ""Seven? Seven what? Years? Months?"" Doctor: ""Six... Five..."""

"As a man, it's impossible to walk passed a punching bag and not hit it twice before walking away."

"Statistics are like a bikini What it reveals is suggestive, but what it conceals is essential."

"My Dad got a Chia Obama head a couple of years ago. The box said he would grow an afro, but nothing changed."

"So I broke my mom's tailbone during childbirth. And I've been a pain in her ass ever since."

"A jumper cable walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, ""I'll serve ya but don't start anything."""

"Why doesn't Melania Trump want her husband to become President? She doesn't want to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood."

"I just had a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world I told them to fuck off. Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving."

"Waiter: black pepper? Me: sure Waiter: say when Me: [remembering I have large investments in numerous peppercorn plantations] haha sure"