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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I are so different... I exist and she doesn't."

"Chick on tinder < chicken tender"

"I told this cashier she kinda looked like Lorde, and as I was walking out, heard the lady behind me assure her she did not look like Jesus."

"dentist was flossing my teeth & said ""they're very tight"" & I said ""yeah they're homies"" & he laughed so loud that it made me uncomfortable"

"Some girls will stop speaking to their friends over the littlest things, but will forgive the same cheating guy a millions times..."

"I was raised as an only child. Which really pissed my brothers off."

"For everyone that works in a restaurant, or uses shredded cheese, Don't vote for trump! He wants to make America grate again!"

"If history has taught me anything, it's that the person with the loudest, wettest cough will always sit down beside me in a waiting room."

"It's rude to ask probing questions . . . doubly so to alien abductees."

"Q: Why did the farmer call his pig ""Ink""? A: Because it was always running out of the pen."