125161

Joke of the Day

"As I mentally undress you my OCD kicks in and I mentally fold all your clothes."

"I created a robot that serves me pumpkin spice lattes... Naturally, I coded in BASIC"

"What's the difference between RPGs and Drunken Style Kung Fu? In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend."

"What do you call a fat Psychic? A Large"

"I now have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"I met the guy who invented window sills... What a ledge!"

"Why did Constantinople fall? Itstumbled."

"Frozen (2013): A girl with magical powers causes adults to talk nonstop about a movie for children"

"Me and bros invented a new drinking game Draw a card, and if its black, take a shot we call it Ferguson"

"What's the fastest way to get a female Officer to arrest you? Liquor."